


The Beckoning Amazon

by ngeonger



Category: Kamen Rider Amazons
Genre: Attempt at Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 13:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7894393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ngeonger/pseuds/ngeonger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The trouble arising from Haruka doing actual pest control work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beckoning Amazon

**Author's Note:**

> We've finally reached page 2 of the Amazons tag! ♪♪＼(^ω^＼)( /^ω^)/♪♪ 
> 
> The money cat is also known as the beckoning cat in Japanese, hence the title.

Somehow Haruka managed to get into trouble while taking out the recycling. Everyone was wondering what was taking him so long when he returned to stand before Shido and directly delivered the bad news.

“You did actual pest control work for an obassan!?”

Shido repeated the unbelievable words Haruka just said out loud. He hoped that doing so would get Haruka to admit that he had just said it after being dared to do so by the others. Unfortunately, Haruka proceeded to defend himself in all seriousness, on how he had no choice in being dragged off to the obassan’s apartment down the street.

“She was really insistent! She even threatened to rip up our bag of recycling!”

The revelation that the team’s green Amazon, who was on par with Class A vermin, was threatened by an auntie was too much to take. The contradiction was completely lost on Mamoru, who began complaining that the auntie had no right and that she had no idea how long it took for him and Haruka to separate the beer cans from the garbage. Kazuya tried to draw attention to the funny side of the situation with some weak laughs, but only increased the awkwardness when no one else laughed with him.

Since this wasn’t really a life-threatening worst case scenario, Shido supposed that he could let Haruka off the hook just this once, provided that Haruka didn’t do anything incriminating in the obassan’s apartment. Haruka claimed that he did not as he gave the details on the work he did for the obassan. 

It turned out that instead of being a crazy cat lady, this obassan was a crazy _rat_ lady. She had dragged Haruka over to her place to chase away a stray cat that sneaked in and was menacing her pet rat. After Haruka quite literally dumped the stray cat out the window (the obassan lived on the second floor, so the fall wouldn’t be fatal), he still had another job to do. The obassan’s pet rat had mingled with the other rats inhabiting her apartment and she asked Haruka to pick them up one by one to help her identify her pet. 

“Great,” Shido sighed. “Now do we have to go over and get rid of the other rats for her?”

“Oh, she’s fine with them,” Haruka replied. “She just hates cats a lot.”

Shido considered instructing Kazuya to go with Haruka and lie to the obassan that they could write the service off as pro bono. However, should the crazy rat lady turn out to be a gossip as well, she may raise suspicion on their presence as a dubious pest control group. In the end, he decided to call up Kanou and summarized the whole debacle to him.

“Understood,” Kanou intoned. “Please wait for an incoming fax from our side.”

Before ten minutes even passed, the fax machine collecting dust in a corner whirred to life. Fuku went over to fetch the piece of paper that it spat out and handed it to Shido. It was an official invoice for Haruka’s work, complete with the ‘Nozama Peston Service’ logo and the additional government tax. As Shido made Haruka pass the invoice to the obassan, he washed his hands off this insane hiccup in their daily routine.

The team felt free to get some fun out of the incident once Haruka returned and reported that the obassan didn’t suspect a thing. Nozomi and Kazuya marvelled over how there was someone weirder than their bunch in this neighbourhood. Even Fuku held back a couple of laughs as he turned the pages of his book. It was unlikely that he was being amused by the contents of his book, which was _The Collected Stories of H.P. Lovecraft._

Shido turned in his chair towards Fuku’s direction and said, “You must be re-reading “The Rats in the Walls”.”

Fuku refused to answer and only raised his opened book to cover his face.

Meanwhile, Haruka sat quietly by himself at the table and was preoccupied with looking at something on the ceiling.

“Mizusawa, what are you doing?” Mamoru asked as he sat cross-legged beside Haruka.

“I’m observing those two lizards,” Haruka replied, pointing them out to Mamoru. “After helping obassan get her pet rat back, now I want to find out how different common animals can be.”

He seemed to have processed his work as a learning experience. Shido thought that ‘don’t be a pushover to obassans’ would be a more applicable lesson, but whatever. His hands were washed. But then there was still the matter of Haruka’s illegal earnings, which Kanou had called to say was theirs to use as they wished.

“Hey, Haruka,” Shido called out to the kid. “Do you mind using the obassan’s money to buy extra food and booze?”

“Please, go ahead,” Haruka said. “I’ll give anyone going out a lift.”

He immediately got to his feet, assuming that the extra food and booze was going to be bought right now. It was clear that he wanted to make up for inconveniencing the team and so Shido agreed to go with him. While riding to the convenience store on Haruka’s bike, he took care to point out that he was definitely not going out of his way to be nice.

“Kid, I’m only giving you some positive reinforcement here,” Shido shouted over the rushing of the wind.

“What’s that?” Haruka asked.

“It means encouraging positive habits in an animal,” Shido explained. 

“I never had to give my fishes any ‘positive reinforcement’,” Haruka said. “I’ve never thought about whether anything they do is ‘positive’ or ‘negative’.”

There were no more signs of Haruka’s weirdness throughout their trip at the convenience store. Nor did any nosy obassans pop up to threaten Haruka. Shido momentarily forgot that Haruka was the most threatening being in the area, until Haruka began growling and hissing as they approached the parked bike. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Shido injected as much annoyance into his voice as possible to cover up the fact that Haruka’s noises had given him goosebumps.

“There was a black cat right there.” Haruka stopped baring his teeth to speak normally and gestured at the spot in front of his bike. “Black cats bring bad luck, right?”

“They don’t in Japan,” Shido snapped. “That’s a symbol of good luck which you scared away.”

“Sorry…”

Shido was confronted with Haruka’s guilty face—the one which involved Haruka looking down and pressing his lips together to suppress a whiny sigh. Whenever he did that, his pout looked remarkably like the curly mouth of a cartoon cat. It was this resemblance that inspired Shido to say, “When we get back, go do the money cat’s gesture ten thousand times.”

“All right…”

All their way back, Haruka didn’t ask if that order was a joke. Shido only informed him that it was after they reached and Haruka took his helmet off to reveal that he was still pouting.


End file.
